Narration was such a bad idea...
The score is mainly for the animation as per usual it was excellent.
I Personally believe you made a HUGE mistake adding naration, it was poor story telling and often the atmospheric/background music was way to loud and overpowered the narration. Her voice wasn't really that soothing and the script she was given seems to have been hugely rushed.
"Deep down, he harboured loneliness" etc, really didn't need to be told. You could of easily shown this through facial expressions and camera movement, i mean if there was no narration at all at that one part it would of worked alot better. (Personally)
Overall, i'm not a huge fan of this in comparison to your other work as i can tell this was a rushed job (4 weeks) and i'm pretty sure if you had longer, it would of came out alot better.
Think more about the sound next time, as sound is often more important than the animation itself (Don't mean to sound patronising as i couldn't animate as well as you, but i think you know yourself the story was hugely rushed and the narration was a huge slip up).